Featuring:
Vijayanti Margassery, ACC, HR Leader
Interviewed By: Sripriyaa Venkataraman
Curated By: Chandrani Datta
[If you are a manager or a leader in an organization, we believe that our Lamp, Ladder, Lifeboat series of interviews will guide you in nurturing the leader-coach within you, helping you make better choices for yourself and your team. In this series of thought leadership interviews, we have spoken to several esteemed leadership coaches who share ways of illuminating your path, holding onto the light within and navigate the choppy seas of life and changes]
In this interview Coach Vijayanti Margassery brings in beautiful metaphors to talk about inevitable transformations and the need to be present in the here and now. She also speaks of how it is essential to take a pause while climbing the ladder of growth and how rest is important for resilience.
Some metaphors eloquently capture our journey and path, enhancing our understanding. I’m eager to learn about the metaphors that encapsulate your coaching philosophy and practice.
I find myself frequently drawn to nature, particularly to plants—encompassing roots, stems, and the overall life cycle of flora—as well as birds, reflecting a strong affinity for natural metaphors that resonate with everyday experiences. This inclination stems from my belief that everything in nature operates within a context and undergoes a transformation process that, while gradual, is observable. Consequently, I view the leadership coaching journey in a similar light: as a continuous, albeit not always immediately perceptible, progression. It embodies resilience, patience, moments of disquiet, and silence. These elements are integral to the metaphors I prefer to use in my practice.
Take the lamp as the metaphor. How has your lamp illuminated the purpose of your coachees?
As I reflected, the term ’empathy’ resonated deeply with me. It captures the essence of recognizing the unique life experiences of the person before me, experiences that merit illumination. This process involves uncovering aspects of themselves that they may have concealed, empowering them to become their own source of light. This approach, grounded in empathy, has proven effective time and again, not only in my own practice but also among my mentors and peers. It underscores a fundamental principle: guiding individuals to discover and harness their inner light. This philosophy is central to my leadership coaching methodology, emphasizing the transformative power of self-awareness and empowerment.
When working with leaders, both as an internal coach within organizations and now coaching externally, how do you address the challenge where individuals, despite their awareness and knowledge, feel their inner light has been extinguished? How do you assist them in rediscovering this light they believe is no longer there?
I firmly believe in the importance of the present moment—the “here and now.” In my coaching, particularly with internal clients, I emphasize recognizing their current presence as a powerful foundation for rediscovery. It’s crucial to reflect on the journey that has led them to this point. There’s a saying, although I might not get it exactly right, that suggests life looks one way in the short term and another in the long term. Often, individuals overlook the path they’ve navigated, minimizing their own experiences. When we’re on a bus watching the trees go by, we may not realize that we, too, are moving. This perspective is essential; many discount their own progress, possibly due to challenges, trauma, or simply not taking the time to reflect on their journey. However, I see my role as helping them acknowledge and value their journey, recognizing the significance of both the movement and the milestones along the way.
During our coaching sessions, conversations can sometimes veer off track. How do you realign your coachees’ focus, akin to adjusting headlights, to maintain direction?
Reflecting on my initial mentoring conversations, I remember my early eagerness to interject and guide the coachee in a specific direction. However, over the years, I’ve learned the value of simply being present and establishing eye contact. Often, coachees are navigating their thoughts internally, and coaching can unlock a flood of emotions and experiences all at once. Interrupting this process can unjustly disrupt their journey. What has proven effective for me—though it may vary for other coaches—is maintaining eye contact and employing non-verbal forms of communication. This approach isn’t about offering assurances but about acknowledging their experience through a smile or a nod, conveying understanding and presence without words. This subtle, unspoken connection often brings coachees back to a point of recognition and understanding, highlighting the power of silent support in facilitating their exploration.
Using the ladder as a metaphor, part of coaching involves elevating coachees from ground level, helping them to gain new perspectives as they ascend towards their goals. How have your coachees enhanced their awareness throughout their journey with you?
When you first mentioned the concept of a coach being akin to a ladder, I was puzzled about the connection. However, as you elaborated, an analogy to the game of Snakes and Ladders struck me. Although rustic, this game mirrors real life, where a ladder represents a choice—whether to ascend, abstain, or decide the timing of the climb. Coaching revolves around empowering the coachee to make their own discoveries, often about aspects they’ve overlooked or forgotten, thereby reintroducing them into their broader perspective or “room vista.” The role of a coach, then, is to guide coachees in retrieving their “ladder” from the attic of their mind and positioning it centrally within their focus. This process is about rediscovery, finding where the ladders lie because they’ve been uncovered by the coachees themselves. I recall our shared mentor coach emphasizing that we possess everything we need, even if we’ve misplaced some of it along the way. Embarking on the journey to rediscover those lost pieces can be challenging, yet profoundly rewarding.
In the ladder metaphor, individuals might get stuck, face a fear of heights, or struggle with balance. How do you, as a coach, gently help them overcome these challenges?
Your question is indeed thought-provoking. Before I directly respond, let me share my perspective on the ladder metaphor. We often assume a ladder is vertical, solitary, and the journey upwards is linear, with the top as the only destination. However, a ladder has multiple steps, and there’s no rule stating one must not pause for rest, that the journey must end at the top, or that unconventional uses—like hanging upside down, using it as a trapeze, building a shelter over it, or simply enjoying the view with an umbrella—are off-limits. In coaching sessions, I encourage coachees to explore what the ladder represents to them, its appearance, its surroundings, and its significance. Questions like “What does the ladder mean to you?” and “How do you feel about your position on it?” help uncover personal interpretations and emotional states. For instance, if asked about my own experience, I might say I’m midway, feeling the need for a pause after a challenging climb, emphasizing that there’s no right or wrong perception. This approach fosters a non-judgmental space, allowing for diverse and personal meanings to emerge.
In discussing the lifeboat metaphor, which signifies navigating through waters that could represent seas or pools, how do you help your coachees, especially leaders facing turbulent times, by being an anchor for them in these choppy seas?
Reflecting on the roles within the metaphor of navigating turbulent waters, I question whether I am more like an anchor or a lighthouse, and whether I serve as the lifeboat or the anchor for those I coach. This differentiation is crucial. An anchor might provide stability or halt progress, while navigating choppy seas might require embracing the waves rather than seeking to be anchored. My experiences in startups and stable organizations have shown me how leaders navigate uncertainty, often leading from the front despite rough conditions. This leads to the question of the coach’s role as a lifeboat, reserved for moments of crisis when conventional rescue efforts fail. Similarly, revisiting the ladder metaphor, it’s about recognizing the existence of different types of ladders for various situations. The coach’s role, then, is to be available, ensuring the sailors and the captain are aware of the lifeboat’s presence without interfering with their navigation through challenging seas. The understanding here is that a ship is designed to withstand such conditions, highlighting the coach’s perspective on navigating adversity.
The goal is to silently support, be present, and empower them in their context. Additionally, it’s important for leaders, akin to ship captains, to be aware that they have access to a lifeboat should the need arise. This awareness ensures they are prepared for any situation. Importantly, the captain typically is the last to use the lifeboat, highlighting their responsibility to prioritize the safety and well-being of those under their charge, ensuring that the lifeboat is accessible to everyone else first. This metaphor underscores the critical role of leaders in safeguarding their team while navigating through challenges.
Given the current environment filled with headwinds, how do you assist your coachees in navigating and making sense of these challenges?
I approach this with caution, understanding that a coachee, by seeking coaching, demonstrates their inherent capability to navigate their path. They come equipped with skills and experiences that qualify them for their journey. However, the intensity and speed of challenges can sometimes be overwhelming. A mentor of mine emphasized the importance of breaking down these challenges to gain perspective. This approach has been mirrored in my experiences, where my mentor would help me see things differently by rephrasing, summarizing, or paraphrasing my thoughts. When hearing my own words reflected back, I often realize they didn’t convey my intended meaning. As coaches, our role is akin to holding up a mirror, allowing coachees to view their situation from a new angle and understand themselves better.
What motivated you to pursue coaching? Despite whether we coach daily, we’ve chosen this path to make a meaningful difference. What story or experience led you to this career?
I want to express my deep appreciation for the community we share and the friendships we’ve formed along our journey. My motivation for coaching stems from a time in my life when I yearned for guidance—a beacon that I lacked. Reflecting on life’s challenges, I realized the value of conversing with someone more experienced or knowledgeable could have made a significant difference. To me, coaching is a bridge that links life’s experiences across different contexts, whether we’re coaching peers, clients, or the younger generation. It’s this connection of experiences to life’s various situations that drove me to embrace coaching. This ability to make a meaningful impact is, for me, the ultimate reward.
What really makes a good coach or a bad coach?
The concept of good or bad coaches doesn’t really apply. Instead, it’s about the here-and-now experiences that a coach facilitates for an individual. Just like in our studies, if we find that our coachee isn’t deriving value from our sessions, it becomes our responsibility to guide them towards a path where they can find that value. This doesn’t reflect on us as good or bad coaches; it simply means we weren’t the right fit for that individual at that moment. Understanding this is crucial for coaches; it’s not a measure of our worth if we don’t succeed with a client. It’s merely an indication that the client requires something different. This perspective is essential for how I view the coaching relationship.
Key Learnings:
- I firmly believe in the importance of the present moment—the “here and now.” In my coaching, particularly with internal clients, I emphasize recognizing their current presence as a powerful foundation for rediscovery.
- Reflecting on life’s challenges, I realized the value of conversing with someone more experienced or knowledgeable could have made a significant difference.
- Coaching is a bridge that links life’s experiences across different contexts, whether we’re coaching peers, clients, or the younger generation.
Vijayanti Margassery
ACC, HR Leader
Vijayanti Margassery is a distinguished senior HR leader specializing in driving organizational change, with a profound commitment to coaching women through significant life challenges, transitions, and experiences of abuse. She is dedicated to mitigating the ripple effects of these challenges through open dialogue, education, and empathy, aiming to build a comprehensive network of understanding and support. Vijayanti’s approach fosters a community of compassion and empowerment, facilitating healing and growth not only for the individuals facing these hardships directly but also for their supportive circles. Her work epitomizes the belief in collective healing and the power of an empathetic community to foster resilience and empowerment.
